You feel happy when you graduate college and obtain a degree but soon that happiness fades away, and you’re in the “real world” where you must work to survive. You get anxiety when you fill out that job application, you hit the submit button, you hope, you pray to get that Congratulations call or email, but you get the “Thank you for your interest.” That crushes your self-esteem, your confidence, your ability to continue, and your ability to fight.   

I recently graduated from college, and I am in the process of job searching. I have anxiety, and I fear what is to come.  

Some may be relieved that they graduated college and finished with classes, exams, waking up early, and studying. For some, you think how am I going to get money? I must now get a job! Feeling nervous and scared is normal. According to Psychologist and Therapist Dr. Vanessa Dabel, graduating college and entering the “real world” is a life transition, like how people may experience anxiety when graduating high school and entering college.

 

Experiencing rejections tend to happen, and Dr. Dabel encourages young people to be kind and patient to themselves in the process because this transition is a stressful life change. She suggests seeking out the support and resources when applicable, like speaking with peers, mentors, or mental health services.  

Often for people who do not have a support system, they feel isolated when having anxiety. Dr. Dabel suggests calling someone you trust or even just texting are ways to feel connected and to confide in someone and not deal with anxiety on your own. If someone has a hard time connecting with people, she suggests journaling their thoughts out (This is what I do), which has some release of the experience of themselves and has a way of accountability that involves them.  

Therapy can be helpful for people to gain motivation and to seek support from a therapist. If one decides to go to therapy, one will learn coping tools to help manage or lessen anxiety and to have tools to learn to use outside of the therapy space.  

Some common coping skills that Dr. Vanessa Dabel likes to talk to her patients about is:  

Deep breathing (known as Diaphragmatic Breathing): When you inhale and take a long deep breath, your stomach expands, and then when you exhale, your stomach deflates or gets smaller. You do that for a repeated number of cycles. Having just a calm, slow, deep breathing experience can help regulate the physical experience of anxiety. You can do it once or multiple times a day to connect with your breathing, to breathe a little slower and a little deeper. 

Body Scan, a focus on the Body: Dr. Dabel does a body scan with her patients where she can scan their body from head to toe to better see what they are feeling, to notice any tension, any pain between their head and their toes like shoulders being a little tensed. The body scan can help observe what is happening to your body. 

Mindfulness and Meditation: People get worked up if they have anxious thoughts, and the mindfulness and mediation process can help people observe their thoughts and help them take away some of the power that the anxious thought has.  

Setting boundaries: College graduates or college students should not be afraid to set boundaries for themselves. The idea of boundaries is like not saying no to a person, you might feel unbalanced, or might be missing out on virtual events. For instance, scrolling on social media can make some people feel anxious about what they are viewing, Dr. Dabel suggests not being afraid to set boundaries of how much social media you are consuming. To also recognize what our needs are and not being afraid to set boundaries to meet those needs.  

These tools are for getting connected to your bodies, being mindful, and not judging your experience.  

“As a Black woman, especially for people of color or Black students in college who may feel sort of trap in their anxiety and in their anxious experiences, I would encourage to find people they trust that they can confide in,” said Dr. Dabel. “When we feel connected and feel like we have the support it can help our anxiety and feel more connected to others.” 

Follow Dr. Vanessa Dabel at @well.nesscouch